Episode 67 — Better Late than Never … to Be Kind

WARNING – In this episode we mention an issue that recently stirred up a whole hornets’ nest of rage and bile on both sides of the table. If you hear what we have to say, and want to comment. We just ask two things of you first:

1) We at GSP adhere to Wheaton’s Law. Follow it.
2) Listen to the whole episode before you look to comment.

If you still want to ask us about why or how we come to our conclusions, then feel free to comment or email us at mike@innroadsministires and luke@innroadsministries. Thanks

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There wasn’t a whole lot of exciting gaming news either personally or corporately that we could talk of, so in this episode, we can FINALLY sit down to talk about the Doctor Who Christmas special that said good by to Mike’s favorite Doctor, Matt Smith. We also discuss the nature of fandom. We can twist something so beautiful as a passion for a piece media, a game, or whatever – and turn it into a means to separate, isolate, and degrade others for not doing it in the manner we believe to be correct.

Be sure to check out this blog post from Jamie the Very Worst Missionary to see what Mike got so excited about. If you do, tell her we say hi. She’s a very talented blogger.

2 thoughts on “Episode 67 — Better Late than Never … to Be Kind

  1. Housekeeping: I listened to the whole episode.
    I have a question, though: How do you get a straight man saying that he thinks women have more to offer, or a Christian saying that homosexual acts are sin as being unkind? Aren’t these kind of “well, duh” type of statements?
    Secondly, we are called to be kind, but not necessarily to be nice. Let me tell a story to illustrate. Let us say that my daughter is playing in the street. She is having grand old time, drawing with colored chalk, making designs, playing hopscotch, and so forth. Now, I come across this situation, and I see someone enjoying themselves, but I also see that there is danger there. I may start off saying “Sweety, you shouldn’t be playing in the road, its not safe.” But if that doesn’t get her to change what she is doing, would it be “kind” of me to keep speaking calmly while a garbage truck starts backing down the road? “Sweety, really, that isn’t good. Come over here.” “That truck is getting kind of close, dearest, just move to the sidewalk, okay?” Should I be happy that she is playing in the street? “Yeah, girl, don’t let anyone tell you to leave the street, that garbage truck is a figment of your imagination!” “You aren’t really choking on exhaust fumes, that is suppressed happiness just coming out!” Is that being kind? Is that even being nice? Gentleness without wisdom is not a virtue.
    Wouldn’t it be much kinder to do whatever I could to get her out of the way of danger? Would we respect Superman if he didn’t push Lois Lane out of harm’s way?
    Now, there is a way to do it that is wrong. “Don’t come crying to me when you get run over… you will get whats coming to you. In fact, I hope it does hit you!” (but at least then the danger is pointed out) “Yo, *bleep* head, there’s a truck coming!”
    I had a conversation like this with a gay friend who was upset that I thought what he was doing was harmful. I had to ask him if I had ever treated him as anything less than a friend, and why should, if I thought he was harming himself, I should stop now?
    We can disagree with each other, but love is making ourselves the target of scorn and ridicule if it helps our fellows, rather than leaving them to their own devices.

    • I’ll be honest, I don’t really remember everything that I said on this episode but I’l’ try to respond anyway. First I agree that it is more important to be kind than nice. I think that is as much a function of tone than anything. Personally I believe homosexuality to be morally wrong and frankly the idea kinda creeps me out. But that is in no way a license to be a jerk. I would hope that I never say something cruel to a person regarding their sexuality or gender. Please note though that I don’t count saying what I believe, if done kindly, to be hateful. Some understand anything that disagrees with their position to be hateful. That is naive. Hurtful is not hateful. If someone disagrees with my life choices I might, based on their level of influence in my life, find it hurtful. But that is not necessarily hateful. If, as an example, my father felt I was a bad parent that would likely be very hurtful. It might be hateful as well. My father could just be a jerk who is using anything he can find to demean me. But he is not. If my father who loves me and wants the best for me was to sit me down and express his concern over my parenting it would be from a place of love. (FYI This has not actually happened.) Lets expand this silly little metaphor a little farther. If a person from the crowd, from the street or on twitter called me out as a bad parent what would that situation cause? Would it be hurtful? Would it be hateful? These are harder questions to answer. Without the benefit of relationship judgement has very little value. This gets me to your illustration. If it were my child playing in the street I would remove her. The nature of our relationship is such that I am responsible for her well being. If it we another child I would also remove her because my understanding of the social contract implies a shared responsibility for the well being of children. But really we aren’t talking about children here are we. We are talking about grown men and women. For me then it comes back to relationship. If I judge a friend to be in danger I will interpose myself because I love them. But what if this wasn’t a friend? I would still speak up. I would say,”Hey man, that ain’t safe.” But if that man was to ignore me, I would move on and let him play in the street. So now we finally come to Phil. First let it be known that I like the guy. I’m down with his way of living and of believing. Was he acting out of hatred and anger towards homosexuals? I really don’t think he was. I think he was trying to just warn the guys playing in the street. But because it seemed out of context for the conversation he was having I can see why someone might think he was being cruel. So while I don’t disagree with him I do wonder wether it was the time and place for the conversation. – L

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